The Love Dare - Day 13

It's about fighting and fighting fair. When I got married, we were in the throws of love and excitement. We had a beautiful wedding with family and our closest friends. We enjoyed laughter and love and then we came home. Some say that financial discord in a marriage is the 2nd leading cause to a break up. Well, two weeks after we were settling into life in Minnapolis, that bomb went off. My company announced layoffs. Yes, we were still in the honeymoon stage and money became a top priority for us. We didn't really fight about money but it was a tension that was overriding everything else in our lives. That caused us to fight about the dumb things, the toilet seat, cleaning up after yourself, leaving on lights, how far did you drive the car,etc....Were we fighting fair? Not really because we didn't set the ground rules for fighting and we didn't discuss what was truly behind the fights (our tension about money).

Day 13 is about setting these ground rules, about deciding how you are going to fight. Believe it or not, no matter where you are in your relationship, a fight will occur and it's best to set up some ground rules for fighting. So the assignment is to set up the ground rules both we and me rules for your fight. We are the things you both agree on and me are the things you are going to think about as you are fighting.

The Me list for me

I will keep my voice calm and my words loving.
I will use I feel statements instead of you statements
I will believe the best instead of the worst (this one is really hard for me)
I will pray before embarking on any tense discussion, asking God for the words to use
I will discuss only what is at hand and not bring other information to the table
I will always think Is this worth it?

Fighting is part of of life, it doesn't mean we don't love; it means we are individuals with thoughts of our own. That is part of what makes life so interesting, however, it also leads to fights. In our relationships, we must learn how to deal with conflict, fight with dignity, respect our relationship and know our love is never ending! Sit down, have the conversation and love your spouse wholeheartedly for they were chosen for you by God.