Study your mate

The chapter ends with this verse "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all the precious and pleasant riches (Proverbs 24:3-4)

Wisdom is knowing your spouse and them feeling free to trust you and open up to you. Do you know the dreams of your spouse? Robb and I just put together our list of 100 things we want to do in our lifetime. It's not really a bucket list but it's a goal list so we can set our minds to achieve so much together. Wisdom for us was realizing what was important to the other person and working towards achieving these goals for each other.

Understanding comes from listening. Not half hearted listening while playing a game on Facebook but truly listening to what your spouse is saying. Are they happy? Do they feel your love in the way they want to be loved? Are you setting your goals to ensure their happiness?

Knowledge comes from wisdom and understanding. God will help you discern what you should do through prayer but you can pray specifically from the knowledge you gleaned from your wisdom and understanding. And then you can fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide.

Study your spouse, I bet they will still surprise you with their goals, dreams and needs for a house that is filled with love!

Love Promotes Intimacy

This morning the line that hit me from the chapter says this from Revelation 3:20, "If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me." Jesus doesn't care what you have done in the past, if you open the door He will dine with you. He doesn't keep score, He doesn't say well that was one but you sinned a million times you better get cooking. He just lovingly sits down and shares a meal with you.

I was thinking about how this week at one point during the week we were comparing how much we spent on going to see each other's family and sending gifts etc. It was not a nice conversation and fraught with the frustration of materializing the Christmas season. Was this a safe conversation to be having with my husband? Did it build anyone up in the process of the conversation? At the end of the conversation did anyone feel better? The answer to all these questions is No. We didn't open the door and sit down understanding that above all else, we are relationship people who will spare nothing to be together with family. We had to set aside our frustrations and realize that the reason for Christmas isn't the presents or the money spent. It's the laughter and joy for each and everyone one of us.

In the end, I spent the day baking cookies with love in my heart and every child got cookies on my husband's side. It was the best present for each of them to have and they loved it. One dozen Christmas cookies, filled with love of the season. My husband and I sharing our love with children and not breaking the bank. In the end we felt safe with each other and upheld our no debt Christmas season. So we open the door and sat together to devise a plan without flinging our frustrations at each other. That's what God does too, He sits and eats with you never talking about the sins you committed only finding solutions that uphold a Christlike existence.

How do you spend your time with your spouse? Are you upholding Christ and finding solutions that make your home safe? How can you start this process in your life?

A Praying Wife

Wow, don't you just love when God hits you between the eyes and says "Daughter, seriously?" This morning he did that. Yep, I was reading The Love Dare and at the end of the chapter they used a verse that I repeated to myself for years. "Ask and it will be given to you, Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door will be open to you." I used that verse for prayers for a long time. Then I stopped. I don't know why, it wasn't some great event that made me stop, I just stopped. And this morning God said, "Daughter, seriously get back on your knees and pray." So that's what I'm doing. Praying for my heart, my husbands heart and the growth of our hearts together.

I know most of you think this book is for marriages that are in "trouble" but my theory is I never want my marriage to be in that state. I want to go on madly loving my husband for the rest of my days and I believe this is preventive medicine for us. I don't read everyday but most days it takes about 5 minutes to set my heart straight and get it focused on God and my husband. I love that. So this morning I pray, asking God, seeking God and watching the doors open for us as a couple.

You know what to pray for your husband better than anyone else, besides your husband. Ask God, it is truly remarkable what He can do with a question or request.

Much love and Merry Christmas!