Leaving and Cleaving

How do you become one? Especially when you both have baggage galore coming into the relationship. You have been married before, maybe even children are a part of the mix. How do you redefine friendships? What is the best way to become one with your new spouse in a world where maintaining individuality is "essential"? Well you throw away everything you had and let God lead the relationship. Yep, that means friendships will be redefined, parenting will be redefined, individuality will be redefined. And guess what it's all good!!!

Have you ever heard friends say things like well, she's got a boyfriend so we won't see her anymore? Well that's because that friend is practicing the leaving and cleaving and redefining her friendships because of her boyfriend. I don't know if I agree with doing this for a boyfriend but once you have committed to your husband then I believe the leaving and cleaving begins. Now don't get me wrong this doesn't mean leave your friends high and dry. This means you will redefine your friendships because you will always put your husband first. You don't get to go partying with your friends every Friday night now. You do get to meet them for lunch or dinner occasionally. You don't get to spend all day on Saturday with the girlfriends at the movies and shopping but you can spend 2 hours shopping with them. It's a give and take to find the balance that will work for you and your husband. I know some will say, I never see my friend Karen anymore. But in reality they do, just on a different timetable because my everything goes to my husband. This is how you leave and cleave. Your friends will get used to it and be happy for the times they can spend with you. And believe me your guilt will dissipate too because in the end you are honoring the commitment you made before God, your husband and your family.

Remember the line of commitment God, Husband, Children, You, Family, Friends. Your best goes to God and your immediate family.

Peace and Love to you!

Leaving and Cleaving

This was a great read today. Leaving and Cleaving. When you are younger the leaving involves family and creating a new family with your husband. However, when you are older it also involves friends and family. I needed to break the ties with friends, family and work to ensure my relationship with my husband is the highest held relationship in my earthly world. He is the most important part of my life given to me by God. Robb and I became one life and together with God on our side we will be one. I will cleave to him and he to me. Some don't understand that leaving doesn't mean I'm never going to talk to you again. It means that I'll listen and understand but ultimately if it affects my life with my husband then I may not be able to do it like I used to. For instance, going out with just the girls. I will go to hang with the girls at someones house, baking Christmas cookies or watching a chick flick, however, I won't go bar hopping and dancing into the wee hours of the night. That would be disrespectful to my husband. I know some will say that's boring but my life with Robb is anything but boring. I love him and the commitment we made together. It worth giving up everything I used to be to be with him forever! Are you prepared to leave your old life behind? Changing how you interact with others to ensure your marriage is one, first and foremost in your mind always?