Study your mate

The chapter ends with this verse "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all the precious and pleasant riches (Proverbs 24:3-4)

Wisdom is knowing your spouse and them feeling free to trust you and open up to you. Do you know the dreams of your spouse? Robb and I just put together our list of 100 things we want to do in our lifetime. It's not really a bucket list but it's a goal list so we can set our minds to achieve so much together. Wisdom for us was realizing what was important to the other person and working towards achieving these goals for each other.

Understanding comes from listening. Not half hearted listening while playing a game on Facebook but truly listening to what your spouse is saying. Are they happy? Do they feel your love in the way they want to be loved? Are you setting your goals to ensure their happiness?

Knowledge comes from wisdom and understanding. God will help you discern what you should do through prayer but you can pray specifically from the knowledge you gleaned from your wisdom and understanding. And then you can fill your home with the kind of riches only love can provide.

Study your spouse, I bet they will still surprise you with their goals, dreams and needs for a house that is filled with love!

Love Promotes Intimacy

This morning the line that hit me from the chapter says this from Revelation 3:20, "If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me." Jesus doesn't care what you have done in the past, if you open the door He will dine with you. He doesn't keep score, He doesn't say well that was one but you sinned a million times you better get cooking. He just lovingly sits down and shares a meal with you.

I was thinking about how this week at one point during the week we were comparing how much we spent on going to see each other's family and sending gifts etc. It was not a nice conversation and fraught with the frustration of materializing the Christmas season. Was this a safe conversation to be having with my husband? Did it build anyone up in the process of the conversation? At the end of the conversation did anyone feel better? The answer to all these questions is No. We didn't open the door and sit down understanding that above all else, we are relationship people who will spare nothing to be together with family. We had to set aside our frustrations and realize that the reason for Christmas isn't the presents or the money spent. It's the laughter and joy for each and everyone one of us.

In the end, I spent the day baking cookies with love in my heart and every child got cookies on my husband's side. It was the best present for each of them to have and they loved it. One dozen Christmas cookies, filled with love of the season. My husband and I sharing our love with children and not breaking the bank. In the end we felt safe with each other and upheld our no debt Christmas season. So we open the door and sat together to devise a plan without flinging our frustrations at each other. That's what God does too, He sits and eats with you never talking about the sins you committed only finding solutions that uphold a Christlike existence.

How do you spend your time with your spouse? Are you upholding Christ and finding solutions that make your home safe? How can you start this process in your life?

A Praying Wife

Wow, don't you just love when God hits you between the eyes and says "Daughter, seriously?" This morning he did that. Yep, I was reading The Love Dare and at the end of the chapter they used a verse that I repeated to myself for years. "Ask and it will be given to you, Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door will be open to you." I used that verse for prayers for a long time. Then I stopped. I don't know why, it wasn't some great event that made me stop, I just stopped. And this morning God said, "Daughter, seriously get back on your knees and pray." So that's what I'm doing. Praying for my heart, my husbands heart and the growth of our hearts together.

I know most of you think this book is for marriages that are in "trouble" but my theory is I never want my marriage to be in that state. I want to go on madly loving my husband for the rest of my days and I believe this is preventive medicine for us. I don't read everyday but most days it takes about 5 minutes to set my heart straight and get it focused on God and my husband. I love that. So this morning I pray, asking God, seeking God and watching the doors open for us as a couple.

You know what to pray for your husband better than anyone else, besides your husband. Ask God, it is truly remarkable what He can do with a question or request.

Much love and Merry Christmas!

Love Cherishes

Today's Dare is to cherish the one you love. When things get a little tough, how do you cherish the one you love. This was a great devotional to read upon returning from Thanksgiving. However, for some reason instead of thinking about how thankful I am for the blessings from God, I thought about all the selfish things in my mind. It was a trying Thanksgiving and I kept blaming all my feelings on other people but in reality it was my not cherishing the relationships around me that made me angry. I needed to cherish the family surrounding me and the joys that will be involved in living life. I need to cherish my husband more, in that when he asks something of me I do it graciously and lovingly instead of with a heart that is full of malice. Today I'm thinking about ways to cherish loved ones. To understand that sometimes everyone needs a pick me up and that in doing so I support their lifestyles whether they are the same as mine or not.

For my husband, I will love and cherish him the rest of my life. He is the best thing that has happened to me and I'm so very grateful for his love, patience and understanding everyday. Especially when I'm a little nutso...So today treat your husband like your most prized item, shower him with love, show him in little ways how wonderful life is together for in this is the prize of a lifetime!

Love makes good impressions

Let's play a little game....when you haven't seen your mom for a few weeks, how do you greet her? When you haven't seen a friend for a while, what is your initial greeting for them? Do you remember your smile? The hug? The excitement and laughter? How about your children? Do you remember how your children/nieces/nephews ran up to you when they haven't seen you to greet you? Do you remember how they would continue to do that over and over even after a minute? Do you remember how when you came home from a bad day at the office, they ran and hugged you fiercely because they missed you?

Now let's think about how we greet our spouse. The person we are spending eternity with, are you as exuberant with your greeting? Does a smile the size of your face occur when you see them? Do you think they can hear your excitement over the phone just in seeing their number pop up?

Think about how you start your day with your spouse. Is it a to do list or is it laughter? Do you serve them or are you a grump? Have you put aside your own needs to ensure their day will run smoothly? Can you imagine how much better life would be if you started everyday with a smile, a giggle and a hug?

Try it today, hug your spouse in the morning, smile when they call and greet them exuberantly when you arrive home today!

Love is not Irritable - Day 6, times 2

Love isn't prideful, lustful, irritable. Love doesn't get angry for anger is selfish. Love doesn't focus on possession or greed, lust for another's objects or person. Love encourages, forgives, appreciates and is slow to anger. We have learned that anger can come from many avenues, tiredness, selfishness, worry, guilt. We have also learned that all of these can be alleviated through prayer. Venting vertically we call it. When you do something wrong, tell God, let the guilt and worry about it roll off your shoulders so God can catch it and make it better. Build each other up, whether friends, coworkers or spouses. Take the moments to say what has been so for you and build each other up to create loving relationships.

Love does for others not because they get something. Love just does things to create a life for others that is increasing good. Love wants the best for those around them and will help others achieve their best. Love takes the talents God has given them and uses them to benefit others. Love tells others what is good and righteous about them, what they grow from learning from others. Love is what makes this world go around.

Love isn't irritable, take a moment and create some margin in your life. Spend a Day Alone With God and get right. Then share this love with others and enjoy the joy that surrounds you.

Love is Thoughtful - Day 4 2nd time around

Thoughts - they manipulate the mind, they turn us for or against something, we become our thoughts. Remember when you and your spouse first met, you didn't know much but there was a mutual attraction for each other. You thought about him/her all the time. Your thoughts overtook every part of your life. They were on your mind always and then you got married or serious and you saw parts of them that irritated or annoyed you. I bet they saw the same in you too. This is the destructive part of the relationship, if you allow your thoughts to focus on the annoying stuff, you will become negative towards your relationship. Now if you think about your meeting, you will remember and think positive about your relationship.

Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on your spouse? I do, I was crazy and flew to Vegas to meet him. I had friends come with me but I flew here and came to his house. (which I had given the address to many people, just in case he was a crazy man) I remember seeing his eyes the first time and my heart fluttering. I remember his smile as he leaned on the wall at the doorway into the kitchen. I remember that first kiss and the first I love you. I remember the laughter we shared. These are the thoughts I like to fill my mind with, not the things he didn't do or didn't do correctly (according to me).

Take a moment and remember your first month of dating, and how you felt. Remember that you would do anything for that man/woman of yours. You would call in the middle of the day just to see what they were doing and if you could help them out. Well, today is the day to start that again. Contact your spouse and let them know you are thinking about them and wondering how their day is going. Ask if there is something you can do for them to make their day better. Let them know they are in your thoughts and prayers as they go through life. This is so very important to our spouses and for you too. Let me know how it goes!